it only took me five hours!

with the new iPod touch, i discovered a need for a new iPod touch case/sleeve/protector. we looked about the Apple store, but i wasn't pleased with the selection... so i decided to make a monkey pouch!

i'm kidding about the five hours -- it only took a couple. i happened to have some brown fleece (i was intending on making monkey hats at one point) around, so with a little snipping and sewing in front of the tele i had my little monkey sleeve made (if a little rough around the edges).

holy crap, i'm posting this from my iPod

so the amazing Pants got me an iPod touch for xmas! it's like an iPhone, but without the $120/mo plan and phone capability. it does have wifi, though, so i'm posting from bed even though my laptop is in the living room. damn i love gadgets. i seriously would have loved an iPhone, but the extra monthly cost over my usual cell bill was just too much. maybe after i start at the new job, making the real monies...

geek alert: while i call it "my new boyfriend," the name i assigned it is "Cheradenine."

le gowns!

over the weekend, Pants was kind enough to humour me and take me gown shopping. i was looking at gowns because my band aubriot will be playing the George Washington University Student Inaugural Ball, which is Black Tie Invited... and though i feel terribly uncomfortable dressing up, i still enjoy it — so i jump at any opportunity for me to get a dress i’m probably only going to wear once, because i never get invited to dress-up things.

anyway, we only went to a couple stores, and there were very very very few full-length gowns to be had (Lord & Taylor had one that i liked, Calvin Klein, and it was so essssspensive i didn’t even bother to try it on). Macy’s had the best selection + prices. i was pretty disappointed that most of the dresses were knee-length or grandma-style. no offense to grandmas, but grandma style pretty much ONLY looks good on grandmas. on lassies around my age, it looks like either our mom dressed us or we’re from some ultra-conservative religious group.

so here are the few gowns i tried on:

this one was the winner of the in-person judging, though it seems that the fabric is faulty.


this one was too big, but a pretty colour.
this one was the right size, same style as the coppery one above. still not quite right, but nice.


this one had sparkles! sparkles! but it didn’t look so great in person.

this one was really pretty. they had an even more awesome shade of green, but not in my size :(

pants said this looked to much like a prom dress. which it probably was. but it’s red! i kinda wanted red... you know... to be a rock star ’n’ all.

this is the white dress i already have... which is a prom dress... but i prolly won’t wear cos it’s white.

and these are the Hello Kitty fleecy jammies pants wouldn’t buy for me. PSH!

i thought everyone did this.

every year, i write Christmas cards to my family; aunts & uncles, cousins, siblings, nephews, and of course, mom. and this year, someone pointed out to me that i am apparently the ONLY person i know who does this. which made me wonder -- am i? i'm pretty sure my friends don't, now that i'm thinking about it... but does anyone else maintain the holiday card list like i do?

it's not like i type up a yearly report, either. i just break out the address book, get some pretty cards, and say "Happy Holidays, hope to see you soon" kinda stuff. sign with love, and that's that. and most years i get a card from most of these folks with a brief "Everyone's fine, hope to see you soon" note.

and apparently, this is not common.

class, who knew i haz it?

there’s just so much going on...

in the past few years i’ve been learning to relax. this is a challenge for me, and i realize some who know me will find that... well, shocking. cos i’m so laid back, ya know? but the truth is, i’m uptight about being laid back. yeah. go figure.

so it’s been a struggle to have some free time and NOT do something productive. and one might ask, why is this necessary? being productive is great! it’s necessary because it was breaking me. i’m just not energetic enough to be constantly moving, going, doing. so the pattern is like this: things are good, calm, and i finally feel my stress levels are manageable. buuut then i’m not really doing anything, this is a little boring, i want to try something new, and anyway shouldn’t i be doing something productive and useful? of course i should. alas, the house is clean and the errands are run... so maybe i should . soon i’ve over-committed and thus become over-stressed because everything needs my time and energy and i just cannot, i say CANNOT deal with any of it and i’m going to cry -- and then, i reduce my commitments to manageable levels, and all is well. i can breathe again, things get calm, good, steady...

and so on.

once i finally realized my folly, i made a concerted effort to stop setting myself up. and mostly it has worked. i still end up with “when it rains, it pours” weeks, but i’ve learned to appreciate and utilize (oh, yes i did just use “utilize”) the time in between. and so i don’t get as much craft or music stuff done... they were supposed to be hobbies, and fun, and they’re not fun if i feel pressure (even only from myself).

so last night i bought a kitting machine from a nice man in Olney. because, you know, i needed something new... :)

Christmas List, Solved.

Mustache Cups for Everyone!

Thanksgiving: Feels Like the First Time

OK, i’ve never cooked a proper turkey. last year i visited the fam (and ate a WHOLE. PIE.) and the year before i made the instant fixin’s, but i’ve never stuck my hand inside a raw bird and then lovingly roasted it at low temperature until its skin was the colour of ... well, my skin.

until yesterday. yesterday i baked the little bird we bought on Sunday. i say little, because it was a 10 lb. turkey, and i have never seen smaller (despite seeing cooking instructions for 8 lb. turkeys). it was a frozen Butterball brand turkey. as it was my first, i spent three days freaking out about how to cook it, after i realized i don’t really know anything about it. sure, i’ve devoured my share of holiday fowl flesh, but since basting my mom’s creations as a tot i’ve not had much to do with their actual cooking.

after panicked calls and e-mails to my mother, and questions to just about everyone i knew who’d ever cooked a turkey, i felt confident that the website my mom sent me would help (yes, when i ask my mother for domestic advice, she sends me links). i had Pants take the turkey out Monday night for thawing in the fridge. Thursday morning i removed said bird and plopped it on the counter to prepare it for its inevitable fate. i am not squeamish about touching raw meat, so i cut open the package and laughed when i saw Butterball include directions with its turkeys -- so all i had to do was look in the package, instead of asking everyone and Google-ing like mad.

unfortunately, the bird was pretty solid. so solid, in fact, that the plastic bag containing the neck was still frozen in the cavity (forget “a few ice crystals” like i’d been warned about by my mom). but i’d already opened the turkey wrapper, so the uncovered bird was placed in the sink and water run over and into it in an attempt to thaw it out. i was sure this would dry the turkey, but better a dry, safe turkey than two food-poisoned diners. did i mention i don’t have a meat thermometer?

i managed to remove the neck bag, and proceeded to massage the turkey and submit it to its unplanned shower. once i thought it felt only reasonably cold, i started preparations.

cate’s turkey dressing:
approximately 1 cup homemade herbed butter (basil, rosemary, and parsley)
1 white onion, quartered
1/2 lemon
additional sprig of rosemary & basil leaf.

i did make butter by hand (no mixer!) for the turkey. it was actually more of a geek-fun thing to do, but i’d heard about rubbing turkeys with herbed butter so i thought, what the heck. after softening the butter, my fain assistant chopped up a boatload of herbs and i squished it all together with my own five digits, then lovingly caressed the turkey with the greasy, leafy mess. i started by lifting the skin on the breast and stuffing my hand in between, and soon discovered that the butter was more willing to stick to my hand than it was to the cold bird (even though i had patted it dry as instructed), so soon i was a buttery mess, using both hands to attempt to push butter into strategic crannies on the fowl. soon the buttering was done, inside and out (i stuck a glob of butter inside the chest cavity), and i moved on to stuffing a lemon half, chunks of onion and some more herbs inside the bird.

with that all done, i had also heard cooking the turkey upside down helps keep the breast moist, so it went upside down on a makeshift lift, just a ring of foil, in the disposable roasting pan. the foil, despite being heavy-duty, did not have the structural integrity required to hold ten pounds of dead poultry, so the ring collapsed on one side. i improvised a foil ball lift, and then decided i didn’t really care that the turkey was still touching the pan and uneven -- into the preheated oven it went, a tent of foil covering the carcass.

according to directions, a 10 lb. turkey takes 2 hr. 45 min. to 3 hrs. to cook at 325°. so the timer was set for 2 and a half hours. at this point, i imagined, i would lift the foil, and gaze at a nearly done bird just asking to be flipped for another half-hour of cooking so the breast could brown.

instead, i found a really, really, really undercooked turkey, with large portions still pink and translucent.

at this point i should mention that the night before, i attempted a chocolate pie for the first time. making a chocolate pie is simple. you make chocolate pudding and put it in a pie crust. i managed to forget that the crust should, oh, i don’t know, be BAKED BEFORE you put the pudding in it. it was so stupid, it made me cry. luckily, i have Pants, and Pants, being the wonderful man he is, went out and got a new BAKED crust and more pudding.

so the turkey was, well, nearly traumatic at this point for any sense of domesticity i may have had. the only reason i kept calm was that i had followed instructions! i had defrosted the bird for the recommended time! i had cooked it for the right time and temperature! it’s not my fault that the kitchen gods hate me!

i’d started turkey preparations early, and we had no set dinner time, so that was fortunate. i telepathically sent an abusive epithet to the Turkey That So Mocked Me and turned the oven up to 350°, then set the timer for an hour.

this bird was going to be cooked, even if it took two days.

during the turkey wait times, Pants and i constructed the sides of sweet potatoes and green bean casserole. on my next turkey-check, i discovered a MUCH more done-looking turkey, and used my clean silicone mitts to flip the bird breast-side up for a last half-hour of cooking. as the done turkey cooled, the sides were baked and stuffing and biscuits made.

then i started carving the turkey. i know nothing about how to carve a turkey, but at least i don’t feel bad about that -- the carcass ended up looking like it was part of a horror film about a killer who cuts people to death with a blunt Swiss Army knife. but upon the first slices of meat being sampled, i was shocked, pleased, and amazed -- the breast meat was incredibly tender and possibly the moistest turkey i have ever eaten, and Pants agreed. turkey triumph for the noob! all’s well that ends well, anyway.

and as i finished carving the turkey, i discovered a strange white tendon in the breast... and blood? ... and soft liver-coloured insides of -- oh crap, i left the bag of giblets in!

random thoughts

i am haunted still by David Sedaris’ uncanny Billie Holiday impression.

have you ever heard of anything being “canny”?

John Legend is sexy, both in voice and body.

awwwww... tee hee

my little kitty-kins has developed a little kitten kol- er, cold. while i feel a little bad for her, being all sneezy and watery-eyed, those tiny kitten sneezes are sooooo adorable!

kaaaatamari damacy-y-y

chu chu chu, chu chu-chu chu chu! chu chu chu, chu chu-chu chu chu!

i am in lurv with the people who made this PS2 game, Katamari Damacy. the music is trippy and fantastic (strange japanese lounge with electro-a cappella elements), the characters are funny and cute, the premise is delightful and disturbing, and the opening - my god the opening - is damn near perfect.

they mix art styles and music styles like everything is one style and get away with it. the theme song is so frackin' catchy i keep singing it to myself, complete with fake japanese accent. the animations and little touches are freaky but so rewarding, so delicious...

i don’t want it to end. too much fun!

i am a mermaid

my hair is yellow and green
and i sing song swim ’midst the sea
’midst the sea
i am a mermaid
my tail is silver and green
and i weep weep weep over me
over me
for i am not what you expect
in your tales and your stories
and i am not what is expected
when i surface by the shore
i am a mermaid
i am a deformity
and i splish splash splish your disgust away from me
away from me
i am no fisherman’s slave
i am not laughing from a cave
wreaking havoc on the ships
or tempting sailors to my lips
i have no pining for your land
to press soft foot upon the sand
i simply live live live ’midst the sea
’midst the sea
and i care not whether you care for me me me
i care not whether you care for me.

just a little strange

i had a dream last night, and it was weird, but pretty. the visuals of the dream were in a style that makes me think of old carnivals and fairy tales, where it’s just a little sepia but there are still other colours...

and there were birds, three ravens, and a giant hawk caught a raven mid-air and began to devour it, and the other two ravens flew away not knowing. they were in some kind of midway or bazaar, and landed behind a tent-booth, and turned into brothers. but their third brother was missing, and so they walked around the booth and saw what fate had fallen him. i was there and not there, strangely first-person, witnessing as a ghost but still interacting at times. and the brothers wept over their lost kin, and i wept, too, as if i were one of them, and though i replayed the scene of the raven being caught and his chest torn open, i tried to console them with the thought that he died quickly, and did not even know what had happened. but this made them even more distraught, and they said “he didn’t even know he was dying; he didn’t even know,” and the scene of the capture and death repeated as they went on. and i felt sad, and not sad, fascinated and disgusted, present in their world and abstractly voyeuristic. but soon the sorrow built up too much, and i woke up to a sunny day and a pleasant autumnal world, the image of a bloodied raven faint in my eyes and a small hard pain lingering in my heart.

Dear Mr. Obama,

i know you don’t know me, and that’s OK. i didn’t write that “Crush on Obama” song, or make a cool logo for you, or anything. truth is, i think you’re alright, and that’s about as good as it gets coming from me to any politician. sure, i wanted you to win, a little, but admittedly it’s because you’re really charismatic, and i hella sure would rather watch you for four years than Mr. McCain. but if McCain had made it in the primaries eight years ago, you know, i mighta voted for him. he’s pretty good peeps. well, he was, though lately i think he’s had some issues with his personal ideals vs. party ideals & wanting to win, but that’s another discussion.

anyway, i think it’s pretty cool that our country really came together this time. you were a historic candidate and are now a historic president-elect, based on your ethnic background. for the first time in several years, it doesn’t feel like the other countries are laughing at us. and you won by a margin that could really be considered a mandate, unlike what was called a mandate a few years back. so, you know, congrats.

i know you’ve noticed things ain’t going so swell lately. oh sure, they could be worse, a helluva lot worse. but as Americans, we demand our Apple Pie grow ... and lately, the slices are getting scarcer, and we have a definite ice cream and Cool Whip shortage. you’ve got a lot riding on you for the next four years. so i’d like to ask one thing: Please. Don’t. Fuck. This. Up.

belated halloween successes

well, my favourite holiday is come and gone, and this one was a good one, with all the stuff i like to do.

first things first, the pumpkins:

the unsuspecting victims. we chose these two out of a whole patchful. it was raining & cold. we had a long discussion about it. yes, we’re that ridiculous.


Pants displays his schematic for his pumpkin face.


and here are the finished gourds. i prefer to work free-form and let the pumpkin tell me what it’s going to be.

and the long-debated costume!

missing the sunglasses, but here’s my $20 Sarah Connor (circa T2) costume.


the toy of the original. i know, it’s like, impossible to tell us apart, besides the hair, right? ;)


don’t worry, that’s not a real cat! that’s just Skarzipan dressed up like a cat! i am, however, actually going to shoot her. haha, just kidding! it’s a toy gun.

and yet, kids are still shooting up each other.

i spent two hours — TWO HOURS — driving around Rockville and surrounding areas today, searching for a quasi-realistic toy gun. not even being particularly picky, just a toy gun that wasn’t from Space Capades or whatever ridiculous outer space made-up thing they devised to sell children on products.

the ONLY place i found one was at the party supply store, in their halloween section. it was a western rifle, or i could get a police pistol. they also had an inflatable camo machine gun.

that was it. not even a squirt or BB gun to be found that didn’t look like it belonged to a Storm Trooper.

gee, i’m so glad we, as a society, have managed to take away one of the simplest toys children could have, and have had, for years. and yet, this hasn’t seemed to solve our youth violence problems. hmm. d’ya think, maybe, it’s not about toy guns, and more about responsible parenting and moral (not religious, necessarily) upbringing? maybe???

or it just could be i’m pissed off because a toy gun SEEMED like such an easy thing to find.

bastards.

Magritte-inspired.

Mah Wheelz!

they haf arrived!

they are purple and came wif bearings and i putted dem on mah skates alreadys.

hoorah!

Stuck-Up Sk8r Boi FAILs, Middling-Age Overweight Woman WIN!

oh man, it felt so good (in a non-carnal way).

i am in need of outdoor wheels for my new roller skates (which i have not yet skated on, despite my desire, nay, NEED to have them NOW). as much as i lurv buying stuff online, i decided it would be nice to just go buy some, and have them in-hand immediately. the first task was to find someplace to BUY these wheels. boy howdy, was that a chore. i managed to find a few skate shops, but none conveniently located to anywhere i was going to be during business hours. this was gonna take a special trip. all these shops, by the by, are skate BOARD shops, as well. the nearest actual roller skate shop seems to be in Baltimore. er... by the time i drive to Baltimore, i might as well order ’em online... so best to take my chances in the skate board shops. i mean, Skarzipan did it!

after four hours of online research and poking about (slow work day), i get lucky. i discover a sport/skate shop in the mall across the street from my office. awesome! it’s off to the shop at 3:30 on a weekday. their website says they have all the skating stuff i’ll need (if i’m a skateboarder, anyway), so i’m thinking they’ll have what i need, or at least be close. i stroll into the joint, where three fellows are unpacking boxes in a store empty of customers, and ask for wheels. all the wheels they have are in a glass case that is pointed out to me. after several minutes of scrutinizing the product through the glass, i don’t think they have what i want... but i ask.

the exchange went something like this:

cate: hi guys, um, i don’t see any durometer readings on the wheels, do you know anything about them?

shop boy 1: wha?

cate: durometer measurements? i see you only seem to have wheels about 54mm, as well; i was looking for something more in the 62mm range, but that’s ok -- but i really want to know their durometer rating, i’m looking for something around 85A...

shop man: (he’s older than the boys) we don’t carry anything that large.

shop boy 1: wha? drometer?

cate: dur. om. eter. it measures how hard the wheels are.

shop boy 1: to shop boy 2 do you know about that?

shop boy 2: uh, all our wheels are polyurethane...

cate: yeah, no, um, thanks anyway. (exit stage right)

to be fair, they weren’t necessarily skater boys, but as a plump girl i am so tired of the attitude from young sports store punks it still felt great.

later that evening, i went to a specifically-skate shop in another mall. while the exact same exchange did not transpire, it was clear i knew a hella lot more about wheels than Mr. Sk8 With Emo Hair did. and they did not have what i wanted.

also, another shop just across the corridor in the same mall treated me awesome, even though they didn’t have what i wanted. the two kids in the Vans shop were nice, informative, energetic, and in no way condescending, even when i out and told them the wheels were for roller skates, not a skate board. in fact, judging by their expressions, they thought that was kind of cool, or at least, novel.

(that night i ordered the Radar Zens with ABEC 1 bearings in purple; they should arrive in about a week.)

What’d I Say?

if listening to Ray Charles’ “What’d I Say” does not make you want to shake your booty, you must be dead.

Somedays, I just want to go back to bed.

yesterday i had a gig, and like many weeknight gigs, i wouldn’t make it home between work and gig time. i really, really hate that. because home is where i reset & recharge, and i have a psychic need to be there every day when possible. also, gigs require preparations of the vain sort, and i just can’t possibly bring or remember to bring all the implements of beauty that i require. (many would be surprised at how much effort i put in to looking this disheveled.)

but i suck it up and do it, so yesterday i was walking in to work in my shiny new boots (yay!), carrying an assortment of three shoulder bags and backpacks, along with a guitar, when i tripped and fell.

as falls go, it was pretty conservative. i know exactly what happened -- there is a portion of sidewalk on the way in that has a little channel for drainage, and i stepped there, which is bad enough in sneakers but in high-heel boots was ridiculous, and my left foot went oooooops! and my right knee went down onto the pavement. but i didn’t drop my bags, didn’t fall on my face, and didn’t sprain anything, so i got up and kept walking like it was nothing. of course, if i had sprained something, i still would’ve just kept walking, crying inside with every step, until i made it into the office. i should mention i was wearing a skirt, so there is no fabric between my skin and the pavement, but thankfully, there is no pants knee to tear, as well.

i KNOW people saw it -- i was right there on the corner of the street -- and i was mortified. i didn’t look around, just kept looking straight, walking briskly as possible toward the office, waiting for that sweet haven where i could take off my “pssh, how DARE that sidewalk trip me!” face and put on my “WAAAAAAAAAAH” face. about thirty seconds after the fall a coworker calls my name from behind me. shit. not only di about 3 million people see me fall (that may be an exaggeration), one of them was a coworker! he didn’t say anything about it, though. he asked about my guitar. this was either incredibly wise on his part, or incredibly lucky on mine -- i can pretend that he didn’t see anything, or that he only saw me kneel and thought i was fixing my shoe or adjusting my bags.

i tried to keep a normal tone and expression for the walk in, where i took the elevator up (which i never do) because of the bags and the pain in my legs. as i stand on the elevator, i look at my knee, and realize there is a sizable chunk of -- skin? pavement? -- hanging off it, as well as some very dark red blood threatening to drip onto my new boots. i pull a little at the sticking-out part, find it is attached to me and i now have nicely bloodied fingers, and decide to leave it until i can put my stuff down. i make it into the office, act like nothing’s wrong, put my things by my desk, and head off to the bathroom to mop up my disgusting wound.

i cry a little in the bathroom, because that’s what i do, and gingerly blot away the blood. i’m pretty sure there are some first aid-type items around the office, likely in the kitchen, but i’m not positive what and where they are. the blood isn’t gushing after a little pressure, so i return to my desk, where i hold a paper towel on my knee, awkwardly, as a little blood returns to the surface. at this point i have decided i don’t like that extra bit of skin, so i cut it off with some dull scissors that reside in my desk drawer, then clean the scissors off.

the wound is kinda gross, and i can’t take the paper towel off for fear of extra bloodiness, so i head to the kitchen for a band-aid. i actually almost went in the kitchen on my way to the bathroom, but i thought i heard someone in there so i just avoided it. this time i have an excuse BESIDES the band-aid, i plan on getting a cup of water if someone’s there. luckily, the room is empty, and i find the bandages where they belong, grab one, and slap it on.

finally, things can start returning to normal. no one has to know when or how i scraped my knee, it’s just an innocent band-aid... it’s a shame i had to wear it to the show. band-aids are a bit lighter than my skin tone and i felt it was rather conspicuous, but the wound itself was worse (i looked, it really wasn’t anything i thought polite to display). i did think of putting make-up on it, to cover the discolouration, but it hadn’t healed enough where that was a possibility.

it’s still kinda icky today, but at least (mostly) the embarrassment is gone. i did try to do some wii-fitting, but belatedly realized i couldn’t do anything requiring me to kneel. that was kind of hurty. and i don’t have band-aids at home, apparently, so i have to get some. i think i’ll go with the Hello Kitty ones.

Present! and another Rockvillain

first, the Rockvillain. i walked out to my car after work late one evening, and the lot was mostly empty. by coincidence (i assume coincidence, the alternative would be way too creepy for me to handle) there was a car parked facing mine in the lot, and the driver of said car happened to be not too far behind me, walking to the vehicles. i stopped at my passenger side first, to unload my bags, and saw her lights flash as she hit the unlock button on her key, and then she reached her car.

this is where it gets weird. she opens her door, and i stand up, having finished with my bags. then she says “i guess we could’ve carpooled.” i laugh, thinking it’s a joke, except she isn’t smiling. her voice isn’t conveying jocularity. i walk around to my driver’s side and get in... and realize she has Maryland plates. i have Virginia plates. NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE.

i chalked it up to a weak attempt (but at least, an attempt) at humour, used in place of the general ignoring people mode of fashion. but afterward, it seemed a little odd... i was in Rockville, though.

----------------------

secondly, and more importantly, Pants got me a present! he ordered it and didn’t tell me. i was there on the day the box came, and he pretended it was something else and wouldn’t let me see what he got, and put it in his closet. i looked pouty, so he told me it was a present for me, and i thought he was teasing me so i looked poutier. pouty face is my usual tactic, and while i think i do pouty very well, most boys i go out with are a little smarter than that so it doesn’t work all the time. but it worked this time, and he said i could get the box and open it. after a gleeful jig, i ran for the box and opened up a new iTrip transmitter.

now, you may think that’s not particularly romantic. but to me, it shows that he listens (cos i mentioned how my old one was wasting away), and thinks of me when i’m not even there to make him think of me. and then he buys me things. not fancy things, practical things, but not so practical they’re necessary...

it’s that special combination of not seeming like he’s trying, but still doing nice things.

i got a present! hee hee hee!

Vet Update

the vet called with the results of Sylvia’s blood work. she had a high white blood cell count, but apparently that is likely because of the tooth infection. what is more worrisome is that she has low albumin, a protein. there are several reasons this could be, like kidney problems, or a urinary tract infection, he says, so we can’t jump to conclusions.

the vet says to keep her on the antibiotics, monitor her eating, and check in in a week’s time.

i looked up albumin online. the first things that came up were related to cancer in humans. and then liver diseases.

at least she seems happy.

Skatey Fun Tymes!

OMG, so Skarzipan took me to the roller rink in Manassas on wednesday, and it was AWESOME! there were only something like five or six other skaters there. Skarzipan said the rink was rilly good. i have to take her word on that, cos i haven’t been to a rink since middle school.

there were a couple kids, one boy clumsy on roller blades, and another girl who kept emitting this piercing, staccato shriek every 30 seconds or so. i wanted to run her over, but was glad i didn’t later when my suspicions that she had mental disabilities were confirmed. but man, was she ever annoying. there was also an older black lady who was just skating kind of slow, backwards, around the rink, and another black lady who came up to us later and talked to Skarzipan about derby. what are the chances both black ladies in Manassas would be out at the rink?

i rented my skates, and hesitantly rolled out onto the floor... and i didn’t fall right away, so that was good :) i did end up falling twice; the first time was more of a stumble as i attempted to get off the rink, and the second time i was on one foot and heard that gritty sound that i remember means something is under your wheel, and then i took a knee. no major injuries, not even my pride, as i felt good for being a 30 year old who hasn’t skated in ages just getting out there.

Skarzipan tried to teach me some derby moves, and while i can’t say i can do them at least i know what to try for, now. she showed me a couple whips, which is where one skater gets propelled forward by another skater (thereby slowing the other skater and hastening the first). they were fun! fun! fun! but a little scary, as Skarzipan was able to seriously whip me around one corner and i panicked a little that i was going too fast. so there’s some getting used to it to be done, but i think i like this skating thing.

the lady who talked to Skarzipan about derby helped her learn to turn around backward while skating, so that was super-cool. someday, maybe Skarzipan will teach me the secret, cos it looks hella cool when someone does it.

skating is a bit of a work out, too! i got all sweaty, and the next day my legs were kinda sore. my knees were sore that night (from the falls) but recovered quickly. i’m also on the verge of developing a couple blisters on my right foot (ouch!).

we’re going again tonight.

Mistakes Were Made, Kittens Traumatized

it’s been a kinda busy week for me. i had wednesday and thursday off (kinda) but boy, it just made today feel like a monday :P i say “kinda” because apparently the office was just closing early on wednesday, but somehow on all my calendars i had it written down we were closed for the whole day ... wah wah WAAAAAAH! needless to say my boss was confused when he called me at noon to tell me my Minion, Sr. had not shown up. well, what’re you gonna do? (nothing!) so i cried a little at my feeling of FAIL and then realized i hadn’t really failed because somehow it ended up on ALL my calendars, and it seems to me what we have here is a failure to communicate... and then i got over it.

also, i had to get over it because i was about to experience some emotional trauma in the form of taking my cat to the vet. This. Is. Awful. she hates the carrier, hates the car ride, and if she didn’t hate the vet before she sure does now. i managed to pull off a really quick “la, la, nonchalant, nothing’s going on GRAB CAT TOSS IN CARRIER” move, so i consider myself lucky there. then it was a gut-wrenching car ride to the vet’s, with the constant meowing accompanied by me saying “it’s ok, kitty-pie” uselessly over and over for 3 miles.

once inside the vet she was pretty quiet (but still terrified), and she handled the man-handling and rectal thermometer well. it was the blood-drawing and shots that got her in serious escape attempt mode. i felt like an awful kitty mommy as the vet assistant, and then the vet, questioned me on her health and habits and seemed to imply that Oh My God Why Did You Wait So Long To Bring Her In????? but you know, the cat was puking a little. i mean, cats do that, even healthy ones... and so she was losing weight -- hadn’t i been trying for years for that to happen? still, i felt awful at subjecting her to the whole ordeal, and that’s really why we hadn’t gone to the vet before. i figured if she was still eating, playful, and whiny, just like always, she couldn’t be that bad off.

it cost me more than $200 (sigh), but everyone knows i’d spend that ten times over and more, happily, for my kitty baby... blood work, rabies shot, penicillin, kitty-lax, and an antibiotic for the tooth infection she had; there will probably be dental care in her future, too another traumatic car ride, and she was safe at home, where she slunk around for a couple minutes but then returned to her usual self. i can tell you now, though, that this whole antibiotic administering is NOT going over well. kitty and i are going to have to work some trust issues out in counseling, soon.

i should know later today the results of the blood work. fingers crossed, she is a healthy happy kitty with just a little hairball & tooth problem.

Sometimes It’s Just Good Karma & Rockvillains

a couple weeks ago, i surprised my press rep (the dude i call at the actual place they print our paper) by asking for two runs with very little notice. to those of you not in publishing, it’s kind of like scheduling a 1 hour hair appointment, then calling your stylist and saying, actually, i need another dye job, so let's make it 3 hours. luckily, he was able to accommodate the paper, and i apologized profusely and asked if i should send cookies (ha ha). he jokingly replied “Yes, oatmeal please.”

today he got a box of homemade oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, courtesy yours truly.

the best part is, i didn’t tell him i was sending them, so he saw this box arrive and thought it was some examples of bad printing or other complaint. then he opened them up and called me :)

---------

in other news, Rockville is a crazy town. not only can people NOT drive here, last week i saw a big dude in a faded polo shirt walking down the street in a pink sombrero (and it was a BIG sombrero). and yesterday i was turning into a parking lot when a pedestrian stopped in the middle of the entry way and did some kind of ... stretching? it was really weird, he just stopped and put the side of his foot against the ground and leaned on it, then he flipped to the inside of his foot (and i mean 90° ankle angle) and did the same. it was a few seconds of this before he realized i was there and moved out of the roadway.

strange birds about.

Culinarily Jewish

working at the Jewish week, i’ve become familiar with the phrase “Culturally Jewish.” it’s like people who aren’t religiously Jewish but are into stuff that is considered Jewish, like using Yiddish words and fretting about your daughter not marrying a doctor, i think. lots of non-Jews look for the hook-up on JDate, and go to Jewish singles stuff, too, apparently. anyway it’s a pretty hot ticket, i gather.

so i may not be quite into the Judaism as others, but one thing i have discovered is that i’m Culinarily Jewish. that’s right, i like Jewish food. and some of my favourite Jewish foods are the ones that actual Jewish people i know kind of make “blech” faces at. Matzo? saltines without the salt. Tam Tams? like the box says, they ARE the best cracker on the face of the earth. Latkes? what’s not to like? (OK, the truth is, i haven’t heard ANYONE say they don’t like a latke.) but the foods that these folks MUST eat for religious reasons are strangely exotic and delightful to me. and of course, i have long been a fan of a good bagel.

so today my boss made me gefilte fish. he didn’t really make it for me, he just brought in some that he had made for Rosh Hashanah, but after he heard i hadn’t tried it, he was so proud of his he promised to bring me some. and it was great! it’s like fish meatloaf. my mom used to make a salmon loaf (or was it a tuna loaf?), which it reminded me of... except that it was rockfish and mahi-mahi (according to the chef). you eat it with horseradish, and all in all, it was damn good, and i would consider making it.

of course, i did panic my mom a little when i told her i was trying some kosher recipes... i only tried them because we run recipes in the paper and i got curious. don’t worry mom, i like lobster, shrimp, and bacon cheeseburgers waaaaaaay too much.

i haven’t had every Jewish food (but heck, i’m certainly trying), so there may be lots i don’t like. but so far, i think they’ve got a pretty good menu going on.

it’s a bird, it’s a dame, it’s...

actually a bunch of birds. being as it is the Jewish holiday of Rosh Hashanah, i’m off work and at home today. i got back from some errand-running and in the space of ten minutes saw:
a red-bellied woodpecker
a house wren
a white-breasted nuthatch
a couple (or more) titmice
a cardinal
a couple (or more) house sparrows
a chickadee
and a mourning dove

awesome!

anudder wii-k, anudder pound

i hopped on the wii fit this gloomy morn and got some sunnier news: i’m down from last week! this is exciting, as i always seem to gain three pounds over the weekend, so my Monday weigh-in is sad :( but the trend over past Friday mornings has been loss -- even if it is only a half-pound. pretty damn good for my slack efforts at weight loss!

how slack, you ask? well, i could definitely be doing more. bad things include:
• dessert nearly every night (tho often small)
• minimal jogging (three times a week is the goal, not the reality)
• some large dinners (usually when dining with Pants) and wild food weekends
• general slothitude

but good things are:
• actually jogging!
• wii fit most weekday mornings for 30 minutes
• keeping breakfast & lunch smaller
• occasionally keeping weekday dinners smaller

so i guess it’s working, my crazy mix up of habits. and i’m pretty happy about it. at this rate, maybe i won’t be as super sexah as i want to be for Halloween, but at least i can still enjoy my foodie weekends with Pants and not GAIN weight.

as for the wii fit specifically, it has been pretty awesome. first of all, it may not be the most efficient way to exercise, but it gets me to exercise. it's also nice in that it offers a variety of things for me to do, whereas my limited imagination says "push-ups or sit-ups." and it gives me goals to work for, because it scores you. sure, maybe the scoring system isn't the fairest, but it makes me focus and work harder. it's all about being steady with the wii fit, and that may seem like a less productive approach to leg lifts and push-ups (hey, who cares if you were wobbly or went fast, you did 'em!) it's actually not -- it just means you do fewer, but you work all your muscles well. short story is, the wii fit makes me marginally achy, which means i must be doing something.

it has also been helping my figure in more ways than just weight loss -- i haven’t measured, but IMO i look even slimmer than a few measly pounds would merit. i guess all that yoga and calisthenics are working, too!

i also like the games. it’s true. at first i thought i would just do them occasionally, but they’re pretty fun. my least favorite is lotus focus (you have to sit in the lotus position, which i am physically incapable of doing). but i love the penguin slide. your mii, which is a little cartoon version of you that you make and thus, pretty adorable, dresses up as a penguin. that’s right, you don’t play a penguin CHARACTER, your avatar/mii DRESSES LIKE A PENGUIN. that’s five shades of awesome right there.

so all in all, the whole wii thing is going well. it keeps me motivated to do at least a little exercise that i wouldn’t otherwise be doing, it can be fun, and the best part is that it graphs my progress for me... so i know something must be working. bottom line? my bathroom scale (which will remain bible as wii was a little unreliable at the start) said 158 this morning. a couple months ago, that was 163. amazing? not necessarily. but actual weight loss? yes. definitely yes.

only 20 more pounds to go.

A day in Richmond, in pikshurs

weeeeell, i finally downloaded the pix from Richmond, so i thought i’d share... they’re mostly of Hollywood Cemetery. i was fascinated by the primitive monolith/pyramid memorial to the Civil War soldiers (hint: those buried at Hollywood Cemetery were Confederate. 18,000 of them.).


the lovely James River, which we did not get any closer to for fear of the dreaded WET FEET.


these people brave the horrific effects of WET FEET.


the looming monolith...


sure, it looks nice enough... but then --


it spots us and turns menacingly!


heh, heh, it said ‘erected.’ there were some other inscriptions, but they were in Latin or something.


a headstone from the cemetery. you know what they say about two Wongs...


Jewish Confederate soldiers. it had never even occurred to me before.


on the way home, we passed Bill’s. those little pigs on the sign look soooo happy!

OMG we got a review!

my verry good friend Skarzipan is awesome! not only did she make it out to the afternoon Aubriot show this past Saturday, she wrote an awesome blargh on us! check it out at groodthings.blogspot.com.

Aubriot already has pix up from that show and the one we played in Baltimore at Joe Squared (which was wicked good), so check us out on the site...

Crepe Googly-Moogly!

another one from the Cate Recipe Book: Greek Crepes. it’s been a while since i added to the inaugural recipe, Thanksgiving Pizza, but on Sunday it was my turn to finally make late breakfast (brunch) for Pants...

we’d made spanakopita (Greek spinach pie) the night before for dinner. it was an all-around success, though it did require a LOT of chopping, and we ending up making two 8x8 pies instead of one 9x9 due to some confusion on the size of available pans. Pants was in the mood for a savory crepe Sunday morning, so i offered up some spinach & feta crepes, using our left over ingredients from the spanakopita. i whipped up a batch of crepe batter using Pants’ tried-and-true recipe (adding a touch of garlic powder to the batter), poured some in the skillet, and added parsley to the uncooked side. after flipping this lovely crepe, i threw some spinach and feta on top -- and remembered feta won’t melt... i rolled it up anyway, and Pants gave it a shot. first comment -- ‘very heavy.’ so we unrolled the crepe and threw some ricotta on top, and apparently that was much better.

unwilling to settle, i made another, but this time i mixed the feta, ricotta and some milk first. it was superb!

a little later, i was ready to make another crepe for myself with the remaining batter. well, i might have misunderestimated how much batter was left in relation to how much batter was needed for a crepe... i dumped all the batter in the pan, and i ended up with a monstrous crepe, nearly a quarter-inch thick! i persevered through the whole crepe creation, however, and remembered to garnish this one with grape tomatoes, and it was still delicious.

way down south

so for the Labor Day weekend, on Saturday Pants and i went way down yonder to Richmond. it was a lovely day trip, and made me think of the time Skarzipan and i drove all the way down to jam with the Professional Student. you know i like you if we can sit in a car together for more than 30 minutes without me turning up the radio REALLY LOUD or feigning sleep.

Richmond was there, pretty much its status since inception in my eyes, and the James River was beautiful, and the sun was hot... we went to Hollywood Cemetery, and besides the typical sight of general headstones and a vast area of Civil War markers, i saw a hummingbird! i was very excited to spot him from the car, but disappointed i didn't get a picture of him.

after checking out the James and the dead folk, we headed over to Carytown to shop and eat, two of my favorite things. i snagged a couple pairs of socks at American Apparel, a DVD at Plan 9, and we looked at myriad other stuff at some furniture place and World of Mirth. we also went to the video game store, because, you know, there’s always the chance they’ll have magical new games the stores in NoVA don’t carry.

for lunch we went to Weezie’s (Pants’ choice) and sure we were rilly hungry but it was fantastic. i heartily recommend it to anyone down in Carytown. very non-descript front (we happened to park near it and Pants liked the name) and simple inside, but the food was delish, and the fries are those ones that have like an extra layer of crispy. mmmmm! the dessert list looked pretty damn good, too, but in an uncharacteristic display of restraint, we skipped the Weezie’s desserts and picked up some sweet noms at For the Love of Chocolate, to eat later at home. i recommend the giant peanut butter cups in dark chocolate, though the truffles were pretty good, too. i think i still prefer Godiva, however. also, if only for novelty, the giant dark chocolate nonpareil was great. it’s like a regular nonpareil, but it’s the size of a small cookie. nom nom nom!

also over the weekend, i bought the most fabulous boots. they make me look awesome. it got hot again, so i have to wait, but as soon as autumn arrives i’ll be wearing them everyday.

busted!

Pants and i were out furniture shopping for his pad this weekend. we ventured near and far, but the best stop was at a joint called West Elm in Tyson’s. it didn’t qualify as best stop because of the furniture, although i did fancy a lot of the style. Pants didn’t find the clear winner of the media cabinet battle their, either. it was the best stop because Pants found a cabinet he kind of liked, and was going to take a picture, when i offered my modeling services for the top of the side table (yes, how rebellious, we were considering a side table to use as a media cabinet).

it was taking Pants forever to get the pic, due to a dining table being in the way, and we were totally BUSTED by Udo Kier the West Elm Homosexual Furniture Salesman. we got quite the nasty look, but i’m glad because this picture wouldn’t be anywhere near awesome without the disapproval to go along with it.

progress!

wii may be prone to lie to me, but my baffroom scale does not ... i was officially below 160 (not by much, sure) this morning. i am pleeeeeeased.

the wii told me i lost 5 pounds OVERNIGHT last week when i knew full well that could not be right. sooo i put the little extender bits on the feet, which are recommended for use on plush carpets. plush my carpet is not (not even speaking euphemistically, here), but i put them on anyway... and then it told me i gained 6 pounds! :P

since i put the risers on the wii, it has been pretty consistent, anyway. now all i have to do is keep this up for another 20 lbs. dangit.

tell wii lies, tell me swii-t little lies...

my wii fit sez i lost 2lbs over the past week! i can’t quite believe it, but i want to. time for that donut reward ;)

the wii fit, btw, is pretty fun. this morning i did 23 minutes of stuff, which is 23 more than i would have done with out it. it’s amazing how a toy can keep me interested.

wtf originality?

i just saw an ad for a show called “The Mentalist” with that dude that i knew i recognized but had to look up where i recognized him from (it was “The Devil Wears Prada” which i saw with ms. skarzipan as a matinee in NJ, and before that as the innocent twink who gets it in “LA Confidential” – apparently he’s been in a lot of other stuff, too).

anyway, the point is, wtf this show looks like a dramatic rip-off of my most favouritest show of all time for right now, Psych. dude who tells people he’s psychic but is really just perceptive, works for da coppahs, solves crimes.

i gotta tell you tho, james roday is hotter by far than simon baker, even with his kinda big nose. i’ll take that schnozz over simon baker’s bizarro eyebrows any day. and he’s a rodriguez! no kidding!

i is acceptable!

i applied for this job at the gubmint, and anyone who has worked for or applied to the gubmint for employment knows that it’s a ridiculous process of form after form and layer after layer (just like an onion). well, having completed my first hurdle jump of submitting all the properly formatted curriculum vitae through the website (thus draining any creativity out of my résumé, which i find hilarious when one applies for a job that essentially requires creativity) i have received an e-mail (please do not respond to this e-mail) saying i meet qualifications and my information will now (now, nearly one month after submitting it) be passed on to the appropriate hiring person.

god bless bureaucracy.

done... for now

ok so i did it, i talked to my boss. he’s going to ‘see what he can do,’ but he agreed i’m awesome. it’s over, so why is my heart still racing and my tummy tied up?

oooh oooh ooooh

grammar junkies & microsoft hatahz, eat it up!

i need a drink.

well, it’s official: someone STOLE my wiifit from my doorstep. i would not put it past the jackasses who live in my building. some of my neighbors are nice... and some not so much. so i’m dealing with that little inconvenience. the good/bad news is it’s my USPS carrier’s responsibility (for leaving the package when he was not supposed to), so USPS will have to do something (i think)... but the bad news is it’s not really my carrier’s fault that the world is full of assholes.

and now, i just got a sudden burst of courage, and asked my boss to talk about a pay raise, maybe... we’ve scheduled a time next Wednesday. my stomach is already churning... so i have a week of anxiety to look forward to.

three random things

1. this is my 101st post!

2. my wii fit has arrived... i'm itching to get home and check it out!

3. “crotch” is an ugly word. blech.

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in nerdier news:
i have discovered the secret to transparent pngs in IE6 from Angus Turnbull! unfortunately it does not solve all my problems, so i still need to run the Bette Noir static site for IE users, but it was really keen to discover a solution. nod to andycoo for setting me off on a css discovery jaunt today that led to this find.

sensationalism hurts.

i have been bothered recently (the past several years, most of my adult life) by sensationalism in the “serious” news media. it’s one thing when the Weekly World News needs to tell me about imminent threats from the Man in the Moon and when the Angel of Death visits earth, or “US” magazine shows me the horrors of all that celebrity cellulite (“You’ll never guess who’s fat ass this is!). but i’ve noticed a downward trend in efforts by news outlets to avoid creating mass hysteria (don’t even get me started talking about biased news) -- you know, the ”Is Your Mouthwash Killing You? News at 11” kind of nonsense. so i really enjoyed this article on the glut of threats the american public faces each day.

omg lol

now, you have to believe me on this, i was in no way even remotely having any discussion related to this product, so i'm not sure why it popped up on my google ads. but here is a screen shot:
WTF???????? LMAO!

(btw, it takes you to a site for artificial animal breeding)

i broke down

and bought wii fit on ebay. why? i have no idea. this is what happens when i’m bored at work, i guess.

i’ll let you know if it makes me any fitter, happier... (nod to radiohead).

at least i’ve got a new roommate coming in august to help pay for my extravagance.

WTF? i believe that is TAKEN!

so, what’s up with this song “I Kissed A Girl” that’s NOT by Jill Sobule? Perhaps thief-tart Katy Perry is too young to remember someone a) already wrote a song by that name, not too long ago, b) had a hit with it, and c) used many of the same topic points in the lyrics.

also, maybe i’m being a little too politically correct here, but i think her other song, “UR So Gay,” is a bit offensive. and not in the way she probably intended it.

no, actually, We Can’t Work It Out.

the Beatles’ song “We Can Work It Out” bothers me. sure, it sounded like a nice sentiment – “baby, just listen, we’re arguing but let’s compromise” – until i really listened to the lyrics. basically, he’s saying “see it my way or we’re gonna break up.”

here’s the breakdown from the first person perspective:

Try to see it my way,
Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
While you see it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.

OK, so far, we can say he’s talking to me like i’m a stubborn person. so hey, try to see it his way, and in the time that i refuse to, we may damage our relationship irreparably. fair enough.

Think of what you're saying.
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's all right.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night.

ummmm, ok, now he’s saying i’m not making much sense, that i’m wrong but i just don’t see it, and that i really, really should think about what he’s saying. well, OK, that could be true, but usually one doesn’t win arguments and/or friends by saying “Hey, you know you thought you were right, but you’re WRONG.”

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

well tru dat. we really shouldn’t fight.

Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.

except that instead of following his own advice, he prolongs the argument by telling me that i should see it his way, instead of the other way around, and then threatening our entire relationship based on my perceived stubbornness.

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

once again, a plea for me to stop fighting.

Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.

and again, that threat!

clearly, he’s less interested in stopping the fight and more interested in being right and persuading his antagonist to ”see things his way.” but why won’t he follow his own advice? i think one could rebut this song with its very own message.

and if you still think i’m wrong, and that this is really a sweet song that is about compromise and really “working things out,” well, try to see it my way, or there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.

oh for pete’s sake!

i finally updated my MySpace page to reflect the changes in my life over the past two years. and what do i get? messages like “What’s all this, then?” from people i haven’t talked to in ages. THIS IS WHY I DIDN’T UPDATE! not that i don’t appreciate their concern for all the details of my private life, it’s just that i’m not really friends with them. so it bothers me a little to feel like i have to write and explain. maybe if the messages hadn’t been a list of question, maybe if they had been more like “i see things are changing for you,” i wouldn’t feel so odd about it. i know they all mean well. sometimes i just wish people could mean well and respect my privacy.

also, it just reinforced my fear that i’m going to be getting a lot of questions about this from other people that i’m even less friendly with. :( so much for being a private person. dang myspace.

laying down tracks

last night the band and i (well, i guess i should just say the band cos i am technically included in that group) recorded with the Omega Studios student engineer program. it went alright. we were pretty tight due to our general awesomeness and the fact we’d played the song we were recording about 50 million times the day before, so we got the recording done with only one major gaffe (my fault). i did my vox in one take (cos i rock that way) and surprisingly, i’m pretty happy with them. usually i hate my vox but they sounded energetic and song-appropriate, and i couldn’t really hear much i would change if i did it again. of course, the guys all did really well (as usual). so all in all it was a fair success.

we had played the song all afternoon on sunday trying to get a video take of it. the results are posted on YouTube — you can search “Bette Noir”; the songs are “Sunburn” and “Blonde.” i have learned a LOT about my image/performance from watching the multiple takes.

• lesson 1: lose weight. the video camera on my laptop does not add 10 pounds. that extra doughnut adds 10 pounds.
• lesson 2: open my dang eyes more/squint less.
• lesson 3: my boobs jiggle a helluva lot more than i imagined they did/could.

so. very. bored.

it’s really hard to be at work today. it’s not that i have some huge shortage of things to do, it’s just that i’m not really into doing any of them. i want to laze about the house, pet the cat, work out... i don’t know, anything, really. i can’t even get pissed off about work. i just don’t want it to exist.

probably just need a nap.

That’s Right, Motherfucker.

i will call your bluff.

don’t think that just because your gelatinous ass has a handicap hanger i will let you nearly drive into my car without honking. don’t think that because you followed me from before the 495/270 split all the way into Rockville and pulled up beside me that i will not put my blinkers on and get out of my car to bash your pussy ass self into the pavement of Rockville Pike, right there before God and everyone, a grown woman beating the shit out of some middle-aged fat handicapped fucker.

when you act like an idiot, that’s what you’re gonna get. so don’t even bother pretending that you’re all tough and that the cops are after me. because i’m not a fucking moron like you. don’t bother following me, because you’re just gonna drive off like a scared little chicken shit anyway.

just learn to drive, already, and maybe get over yourself. you’ll make the world a better place.

dance party at my shirt!

ladies will know that occasionally, things must be washed by hand (some boys will know this, as well, but not usually the type of boy i know). and when things are washed by hand, they must be dried not in a heat-producing drier.

i had some things that needed to be washed by hand, and dried by air, and so, what better place for air than outdoors?

i left three tank tops draped over the porch furniture on sunday afternoon... and forgot about them until monday morning. as i retrieved my white shirt from the chair back, i noticed little marks on it.

little tiny marks.

like, little tiny footprints.

tiny, like, say, squirrel-sized.

apparently the squirrels are like my new boyfriend: they do the most annoying things but i still think it's cute.

confidential note to boys considering a position as my boyfriend: do not make the mistake of thinking you are as cute as a squirrel.

Fortune Flavors the Bold!

yesterday, i woke up and went out to the living room, only to discover a squirrel on the balcony! this was the second time a squirrel has made it to my balcony, which is pretty impressive, considering the only way to climb up would be on brick, and the nearest tree branches are not that near.

i let him nibble away at the sunflower seed for a while longer, then went out to try and gently shoo him off the balcony. the problem is, i didn't know where to shoo him to -- any direction (with the exception of inside my condo) would mean squirrel jumping from a height that must be the equivalent of 80 stories up. i could be exaggerating but i just don't want to do the math.

so i slowly, quietly approached him, allowing him room to head in whatever direction he chose, hoping he would reveal his secret route onto my balcony. instead, he leaped from the balcony into the shrubs, little squirrelly legs splayed.

it was pretty impressive, if not as shocking as when the first squirrel i caught got away in that fashion.

so this morning, i woke up and went out to the living room -- and there was another (the same?) squirrel, god bless him. this time i took some tortilla chips to feed him, but he was too terrorized by my immense stature, i suppose -- i couldn't get on my knees cos i was already wearing my work pants and i didn't want to soil them -- he shunned my offering and jumped into the shrubs at the other end of the balcony.

the cat, by the way, is fascinated. the squirrel doesn't seem to notice her as she crouches by the window, and when i opened the door i was pretty sure she was going to make a try for him (perhaps not a serious try, but a try). i wanted to avoid any morning drama so i used my foot to deter her efforts before they started.

in other wildlife news, the titmice are back, and they've brought their young'uns. this pleases me.

Me to Him:

it’s summertime

now that i’m pretty sure my life is really, really done falling apart, it’s time to get back on the horse and look for more cliffs.

just kidding.

but i gained back some weight that i thought i’d lost, and now i must commit to lose it again. so off to the local rec center (i can walk there!) and enough of dessert (i get dessert two nights a week, now) and i’m not really going to diet, but i am going to be careful (healthy snacks, limited portions, no fast food, yadda yadda).

ok, make way for healthy(er) cate!

and now that work is still horribly busy but not like it was a week ago, it’s also time to muster up that self-confidence and start making and pitching my wares. that rebate money is going for supplies, and enough goofing off- i’ve gotta knuckle down and produce the product. and then tell everybody and her mother about it.

make way for creative-business cate!

and enough of this living like a slob! i haven't done laundry in like, two weeks, but that’s all ending right now. trash is going out and the same with recycling; the vacuum’s gonna be working on a regular basis, and there’s no more excuses for the kitchen floor now that i’ve got a mop.

make way for homemaker cate!

hrmmm... it’s going to be a very busy summer. i better get some wii time in tonight while i still can.

awwwwww

i saw a chipmunk today! i think he was gonna tell me he lurvs me but then he got shy and ran away. just like all cuties.

A theory on my allergy to salmon

postulate that nature dislikes cannibalism.

i am always swimming upstream in society.*



*footnote: not always by choice.

Monkeys in DC

How it should be, Mandarin Princesses and all.

drinking - ur doin it rong

i usually don’t blame kids for most of their ridiculous actions, because hell, being a kid is pretty dang tough sometimes, and you screw up, sometimes in a minor way, sometimes royally. also, many parents don’t seem to be too keen on parenting these days so it really isn’t always the poor kid’s fault.

however, this is just beautiful in its classic, teen-aged stupidity way:

some kids were caught drinking at school (i believe they were high-school freshies). you know right away this is probably a one-off event, because the real bad seeds don’t get caught running a mini-bar in the bathroom, attempting to show their friends how cool they are. they get drunk all on their lonesome *before* school. or vet their invitees a little better.

the best part, though, the most delicious part of this story, is what they were drinking. a mix of VODKA, WINE, TEQUILA, RUM, and fruit juice.

GOOD GOD.

this is one of those cases where the punishment really should have been having to drink the whole bottle, because that just sounds rancid. i bet they'd never drink again.

dangit!

oh man, i got so excited when i saw this:

Boring couple sue Google over photos

12:03pm | US couple sues Google, saying pictures of their home that appear on Google Maps Street View violated their privacy.

i mean, hellsyeah! they got nothing better to do?

only to be disappointed when i discovered their NAME is Boring. psh.

Do Politicians Read? Seriously.

OK, i’ve been griping about this for it seems like ages. holding the cell phone is not what is dangerous. it’s the conversation.

so why do legislators keep trying to outlaw talking on cell phones without a hands-free device? they claim it’s for safety, but obviously, if they read a newspaper (or even the crap mail like i get randomly in my e-mail) they should know by now the safe thing would be outlawing ALL cell phone calls while driving.

i also like that in Maryland they feel the need to specify that texting while driving is a crime (actually, the law didn’t get passed, but it was up there).

how about this? how about the idea we already HAVE a law (or even plural, laws) against all those dangerous things. there are laws against reckless driving. so why do lawmakers feel the need to make a redundant law?

Here’s the problem with “news”

ok, so i watch the news on TV in the morning to get traffic and weather. also, occasionally i like to hear what’s going on locally. but TV news, like most things, has lead me to become angry and frustrated. here’s the breakdown:

first, the teaser: Is There Danger Lurking In Your Water?
if there really was danger, shouldn’t you be telling everyone now? i mean, really?

then, the story: A Small Segment of the Population May Have Experienced Something. We’ll provide you some anecdotes from passer-by, but we won’t actually report on details or the full story.

this is driving me crazy. and it panders (IMO) to the segment of America (read, most of America) who believes whatever they hear, and doesn’t question it. OR they question it because it opposes their preconceived ideas that they hold onto like a petulant child or certain president, never admitting they could possibly be wrong, mistaken, or misinformed.

and then i read this in the Straight Dope today, which just furthers my rage and disappointment:

“What about the Prius and its allegedly grim environmental impact? The cause of the controversy seems to be a report called “Dust to Dust” by Oregon-based CNW Marketing Research. The report claims a Prius has a higher lifetime energy cost than a Hummer, an assertion cited by George Will in 2007 in his syndicated newspaper column. But the report is ludicrous. It evidently was self-published, lists no authors, quotes no technical literature, never explains its methodology, and contains numerous unsupported and often bizarre assertions. (Sample: a Prius will have a life span of only 109,000 miles whereas an H1 will last for 379,000 miles, apparently the basis for the contention that the Hummer’s per-mile costs are lower.) Only a fool or a commentator with an ax to grind would take such nonsense seriously.”

damn right, Cecil. because it doesn’t matter what the facts are, or how inconclusive a study may be, we have to cling to ideas unwaveringly once we find them acceptable. it’s subjective truth. it doesn’t matter which side you come down on in any debate, once you pick your side you stick with it to the death. even if more information comes out. even if your source for facts is clearly biased. believe what the TV and radio tell you and you can be self-righteous without the annoying task of informing yourself.

grumble.

Who eats these?

a well-meaning sales rep – uh, i mean, Account Executive – came around with caaahndy this afternoon. except that it was (brace yourself for an ageist remark) Old People Candy. who under 65 eats butterscotch & peppermint? seperately, i mean. i don't think anyone in their right mind would eat them together.

now that i'm thinking about it, though, i kind of want to try a peppermintbutterscotch. pepperbutterscotchmint? i bet they go together like bacon and ice cream.

upon further thought, i *like* bacon & ice cream separately, and would never want them together. HOWEVER, i *dislike* (ok, am apathetic toward) peppermint and butterscotch separately, so maybe, together, they're totally awesome. i mean, pepper and butter go together. and mint and scotch probably have a dynamic thing going on. so peppermint and butterscotch? putterscint? buppermotch? pettermotch? betpermintch?

so who wants to try it and let me know?

Qualities Necessary in an Employee and Boyfriend

as i have been informed:

Major Attributes:
• Dynamic leader and team builder, consistently motivating others toward success.
• Effective working alone or as a cooperative member.
• Reliable. Willing and able to show up on time.
• Honest and trustworthy.
• Good attitude around others, willing to help, patient with people, always willing to help

i'll take four out of five. for reals.

Me an' my home-skwhirl

Aw, these squirrels think they're peoples!

nerd!

She's Crafty!

ok, the jewelry making is going good. i'm almost ready, and by that i mean i think i'm on track for a May launch. been doing a lot of little magnets, too. next step is to design the website.

i've 'finished' one guitar strap -- that is, i f*ed up a lot but figured out what i needed to know. i'm kind of funny that way... on one hand, i go in prepared, taking in all the info i can about a project, possibly reading books, checking out comparable products, determining all materials available and which would be the best at the least expensive price to use (or utilize, haha). on the other hand, i go all out -- for the first strap i decided to use brocade, which, if you sew, you know is slippery and frays a LOT. also, i'm really stingy and impatient, so instead of just using what i really needed to make it easy and carefully measuring, i bought as small an amount as i thought safe and 'eyeballed' a lot.

so i blew it but got some important lessons out of it, lessons i only would have learned otherwise by having someone actually instruct me.

in other crafty news, i bought a 'knifty knitter' loom with my 50% off AC Moore coupon to see if the products it creates are a) easier than just knitting them and b) up to my standards. i just got it last night so i haven't tried it out yet.

also purchased yesterday: a Hula Hoop!!! last time i went to get one the Toys'R'Us was SOLD OUT. can you believe it? i couldn't. but my perseverance has paid off (that is, i made a whole nother trip) and i scored Hoopage. it's called a Wave Hoop, by the way.

and finally, last night i was driving home from practice, and the dude beside honks at me at a light. he's lucky i looked on his second honk cos usually it's some jackass and i pay no mind. turned out he needed help finding 495 -- and just as he asked the light turned green. i had the presence of mind to just say "follow me" and i managed to lead CHICHIE (the plates read) from New York to 495, as he desired. He pulled by me on the highway and waved as he passed, and i was pleased. Hooray for civility!

the cat's been getting sick a lot lately, but she's still pretty damn fat. i want to tell her "bulemia: ur doin it wrong." (it's probably just hairballs, no one worry).

Right now

sitting in my workroom, making little magnets, listening to Rolling Stones & Motown; the cat's asleep in a patch of sunlight.

it doesn't get much better.

I am of the Rock

OMG i think i can make my own guitar straps. srsly. MWAHAHAHAHA i'm unstoppable!

Convergence

this weekend (saturday morning, to be exact) three of my favorite things all came together: "Wait,Wait, Don't Tell Me," lemurs, and Wii.

it almost made up for the fact i'be god a cobe.

Long Time No Post

but things have been busy. personal stuff; working on websites, bands, apprendrez le français and the atomic launch...
i like it, but it hardly leaves time for such frivolous things as blogging :)

awesome thing of the week:
my tail-light was out, so i went to Pep Boys to get another. before i went in i decided to take out the old light to be sure i got the right replacement. while i was doing all the wiggling around of parts in the back of my car, wondering to myself how the heck does this thing come out of there, the light came on. problem solved. got myself some fried chicken to celebrate.

OH MY GOD

the Puppy Bowl is even more cuter than i imagined it could be. they have adorable puppies, of course, but they also have a ref and an announcer. and the ref gives penalties to the puppies for things like 'unnecessary roughness' and 'splashing on the field' (splashing in the water bowl). i think i could puke it's so cute. i can't wait for the Kitten Halftime Show!!!

update: IT'S HELD IN SILVER SPRING, MD. i'm getting tickets next year.

How Elections Should Be Decided

Huckabee got Chuck Norris. Then McCain got Rambo. All we need is Romney to get Schwarzenegger and we've got ourselves a cage match to decide the Republican nominee.

her last words were, "I shoulda gotten a cheeburger."

how true, how true.

The Stupid Contest

mostly i don't mind the sales staff here, but there are a couple of them that make my job more difficult; specifically, the sales manager. i overheard the manager and a couple reps chatting at the end of the day. one said, "we should have a stupid contest each day, and at the end of the day award the person who said or did the dumbest thing." Another says, "oh, that's not fair, bob will win every day!"

Pot. Kettle. Black.

Hells to the Yeah!

Holy Cannoli, Bette-girl! the brand-new bettenoir.com is up and running.

the excitement i feel is only partly due to having a functioning, sexxy updated site. it's mostly because i feel like some kind of CSS goddess. that's right, CSS, BAY-BEE!

i did the site with some graphics and entirely CSS & HTML. i did use some transparent PNGs, but hey, i'm not some kind of code-compliant cross-browser sorceress. plenty of people who get paid to do websites transgress the rules in a more egregious fashion. the point is, i put up a damn fine website that didn't take me three months to build that functions like a mo-fo and is hot hot hot with the graphics and styles. beat that.

to come soon: more proof of my totally awesome awesomeness – my new professional design/portfolio site.

mmmm i get all yummy just thinking about the :hover tags and clip properties i'm using.

I Just Wanted To Say

i've got leg-warmers and a death wish.

Finger Leper

i'm trying to quit biting my nails (and cuticles) AGAIN. the only thing i've found that works (other than just not biting) is putting liquid bandage on my fingers. i think it works because then i pick at the liquid bandage instead of picking at my skin.

the unfortunate side-effects to this treatment are that i now smell of some strong foul chemical, even hours after application, and my fingertips look strange... the bandage peels and flakes and makes me look like i have leprosy or some other skin disease in my fingertips. the bonus to all this is that the liquid bandage is also shiny ... so my fingertips (not my fingernails!) are shiny. and peely. and i leave little flakes behind wherever i go.

You Heard It Here First

i hereby copyright, trademark and whatever else you can do to this idea (can you tell i think it's just brilliant?):

Bumblebeer
Beer with a hint of honey
Tagline: The sweet buzz

identity (logo & packaging) to follow.

man, i love ideas! check out some good ones i've stolen, btw: www.cafepress.com/atomiccate
they make great valentine gifts. especially "i heart t.v." and "kiss me."