Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Dear Mr. Obama,

i know you don’t know me, and that’s OK. i didn’t write that “Crush on Obama” song, or make a cool logo for you, or anything. truth is, i think you’re alright, and that’s about as good as it gets coming from me to any politician. sure, i wanted you to win, a little, but admittedly it’s because you’re really charismatic, and i hella sure would rather watch you for four years than Mr. McCain. but if McCain had made it in the primaries eight years ago, you know, i mighta voted for him. he’s pretty good peeps. well, he was, though lately i think he’s had some issues with his personal ideals vs. party ideals & wanting to win, but that’s another discussion.

anyway, i think it’s pretty cool that our country really came together this time. you were a historic candidate and are now a historic president-elect, based on your ethnic background. for the first time in several years, it doesn’t feel like the other countries are laughing at us. and you won by a margin that could really be considered a mandate, unlike what was called a mandate a few years back. so, you know, congrats.

i know you’ve noticed things ain’t going so swell lately. oh sure, they could be worse, a helluva lot worse. but as Americans, we demand our Apple Pie grow ... and lately, the slices are getting scarcer, and we have a definite ice cream and Cool Whip shortage. you’ve got a lot riding on you for the next four years. so i’d like to ask one thing: Please. Don’t. Fuck. This. Up.

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