oooh oooh ooooh

grammar junkies & microsoft hatahz, eat it up!

i need a drink.

well, it’s official: someone STOLE my wiifit from my doorstep. i would not put it past the jackasses who live in my building. some of my neighbors are nice... and some not so much. so i’m dealing with that little inconvenience. the good/bad news is it’s my USPS carrier’s responsibility (for leaving the package when he was not supposed to), so USPS will have to do something (i think)... but the bad news is it’s not really my carrier’s fault that the world is full of assholes.

and now, i just got a sudden burst of courage, and asked my boss to talk about a pay raise, maybe... we’ve scheduled a time next Wednesday. my stomach is already churning... so i have a week of anxiety to look forward to.

three random things

1. this is my 101st post!

2. my wii fit has arrived... i'm itching to get home and check it out!

3. “crotch” is an ugly word. blech.

----

in nerdier news:
i have discovered the secret to transparent pngs in IE6 from Angus Turnbull! unfortunately it does not solve all my problems, so i still need to run the Bette Noir static site for IE users, but it was really keen to discover a solution. nod to andycoo for setting me off on a css discovery jaunt today that led to this find.

sensationalism hurts.

i have been bothered recently (the past several years, most of my adult life) by sensationalism in the “serious” news media. it’s one thing when the Weekly World News needs to tell me about imminent threats from the Man in the Moon and when the Angel of Death visits earth, or “US” magazine shows me the horrors of all that celebrity cellulite (“You’ll never guess who’s fat ass this is!). but i’ve noticed a downward trend in efforts by news outlets to avoid creating mass hysteria (don’t even get me started talking about biased news) -- you know, the ”Is Your Mouthwash Killing You? News at 11” kind of nonsense. so i really enjoyed this article on the glut of threats the american public faces each day.

omg lol

now, you have to believe me on this, i was in no way even remotely having any discussion related to this product, so i'm not sure why it popped up on my google ads. but here is a screen shot:
WTF???????? LMAO!

(btw, it takes you to a site for artificial animal breeding)

i broke down

and bought wii fit on ebay. why? i have no idea. this is what happens when i’m bored at work, i guess.

i’ll let you know if it makes me any fitter, happier... (nod to radiohead).

at least i’ve got a new roommate coming in august to help pay for my extravagance.

WTF? i believe that is TAKEN!

so, what’s up with this song “I Kissed A Girl” that’s NOT by Jill Sobule? Perhaps thief-tart Katy Perry is too young to remember someone a) already wrote a song by that name, not too long ago, b) had a hit with it, and c) used many of the same topic points in the lyrics.

also, maybe i’m being a little too politically correct here, but i think her other song, “UR So Gay,” is a bit offensive. and not in the way she probably intended it.

no, actually, We Can’t Work It Out.

the Beatles’ song “We Can Work It Out” bothers me. sure, it sounded like a nice sentiment – “baby, just listen, we’re arguing but let’s compromise” – until i really listened to the lyrics. basically, he’s saying “see it my way or we’re gonna break up.”

here’s the breakdown from the first person perspective:

Try to see it my way,
Do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on?
While you see it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that our love may soon be gone.

OK, so far, we can say he’s talking to me like i’m a stubborn person. so hey, try to see it his way, and in the time that i refuse to, we may damage our relationship irreparably. fair enough.

Think of what you're saying.
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's all right.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night.

ummmm, ok, now he’s saying i’m not making much sense, that i’m wrong but i just don’t see it, and that i really, really should think about what he’s saying. well, OK, that could be true, but usually one doesn’t win arguments and/or friends by saying “Hey, you know you thought you were right, but you’re WRONG.”

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

well tru dat. we really shouldn’t fight.

Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.

except that instead of following his own advice, he prolongs the argument by telling me that i should see it his way, instead of the other way around, and then threatening our entire relationship based on my perceived stubbornness.

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

once again, a plea for me to stop fighting.

Try to see it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.

and again, that threat!

clearly, he’s less interested in stopping the fight and more interested in being right and persuading his antagonist to ”see things his way.” but why won’t he follow his own advice? i think one could rebut this song with its very own message.

and if you still think i’m wrong, and that this is really a sweet song that is about compromise and really “working things out,” well, try to see it my way, or there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.

oh for pete’s sake!

i finally updated my MySpace page to reflect the changes in my life over the past two years. and what do i get? messages like “What’s all this, then?” from people i haven’t talked to in ages. THIS IS WHY I DIDN’T UPDATE! not that i don’t appreciate their concern for all the details of my private life, it’s just that i’m not really friends with them. so it bothers me a little to feel like i have to write and explain. maybe if the messages hadn’t been a list of question, maybe if they had been more like “i see things are changing for you,” i wouldn’t feel so odd about it. i know they all mean well. sometimes i just wish people could mean well and respect my privacy.

also, it just reinforced my fear that i’m going to be getting a lot of questions about this from other people that i’m even less friendly with. :( so much for being a private person. dang myspace.

laying down tracks

last night the band and i (well, i guess i should just say the band cos i am technically included in that group) recorded with the Omega Studios student engineer program. it went alright. we were pretty tight due to our general awesomeness and the fact we’d played the song we were recording about 50 million times the day before, so we got the recording done with only one major gaffe (my fault). i did my vox in one take (cos i rock that way) and surprisingly, i’m pretty happy with them. usually i hate my vox but they sounded energetic and song-appropriate, and i couldn’t really hear much i would change if i did it again. of course, the guys all did really well (as usual). so all in all it was a fair success.

we had played the song all afternoon on sunday trying to get a video take of it. the results are posted on YouTube — you can search “Bette Noir”; the songs are “Sunburn” and “Blonde.” i have learned a LOT about my image/performance from watching the multiple takes.

• lesson 1: lose weight. the video camera on my laptop does not add 10 pounds. that extra doughnut adds 10 pounds.
• lesson 2: open my dang eyes more/squint less.
• lesson 3: my boobs jiggle a helluva lot more than i imagined they did/could.

so. very. bored.

it’s really hard to be at work today. it’s not that i have some huge shortage of things to do, it’s just that i’m not really into doing any of them. i want to laze about the house, pet the cat, work out... i don’t know, anything, really. i can’t even get pissed off about work. i just don’t want it to exist.

probably just need a nap.

That’s Right, Motherfucker.

i will call your bluff.

don’t think that just because your gelatinous ass has a handicap hanger i will let you nearly drive into my car without honking. don’t think that because you followed me from before the 495/270 split all the way into Rockville and pulled up beside me that i will not put my blinkers on and get out of my car to bash your pussy ass self into the pavement of Rockville Pike, right there before God and everyone, a grown woman beating the shit out of some middle-aged fat handicapped fucker.

when you act like an idiot, that’s what you’re gonna get. so don’t even bother pretending that you’re all tough and that the cops are after me. because i’m not a fucking moron like you. don’t bother following me, because you’re just gonna drive off like a scared little chicken shit anyway.

just learn to drive, already, and maybe get over yourself. you’ll make the world a better place.

dance party at my shirt!

ladies will know that occasionally, things must be washed by hand (some boys will know this, as well, but not usually the type of boy i know). and when things are washed by hand, they must be dried not in a heat-producing drier.

i had some things that needed to be washed by hand, and dried by air, and so, what better place for air than outdoors?

i left three tank tops draped over the porch furniture on sunday afternoon... and forgot about them until monday morning. as i retrieved my white shirt from the chair back, i noticed little marks on it.

little tiny marks.

like, little tiny footprints.

tiny, like, say, squirrel-sized.

apparently the squirrels are like my new boyfriend: they do the most annoying things but i still think it's cute.

confidential note to boys considering a position as my boyfriend: do not make the mistake of thinking you are as cute as a squirrel.