Oh, You People SUCK!

i was about to blog and rave about my new favorite place to eat. the food is delicious, but on top of that, they have a serious sense of humour. all the names of the menu items are movie or tele references... ok, not that original or cool, sure. but most of their references, if not put in context with a few you recognize, you would never know were movie/tv references. like, say, johnny coctostan. or the triple lindy.

i was going to tell you all how totally awesome this place was, except -- i went to their website, and found out they're having a contest to CHANGE THE NAMES OF THEIR ITEMS.

hey, here's an idea! take the quirkiest, most stand-out thing about your place, the thing that people who aren't in on the joke won't care about, but people who are in on the joke will possibly adore and thus form brand loyalty, and CHANGE IT.

i'll still mention their name, because after two burritos and a quesadilla there, i really think they're one of the best 'fast-food' tex mex joints around. but i'm still sorely disappointed with you, Moe's.

i finally saw Saturday Night Fever!!!

or, at least, part of it.

and it SUCKED!!!

well, ok, that's not really a surprise. i mean, seriously, who sits down to SNF thinking, gee, this is one of the landmark movies of our time? not i. i didn't even know the "plot." i use the term VERY loosely... but really, now, did it even need a plot? i think not. i think it was a movie of a time, with a man and a woman, and lots of hideous, vomit-inducing fashion which was popular once. it's a time-capsule. and proof that john travolta should never, ever, ever been given another part ever again. ok, except in Pulp Fiction.

i gleaned all this information from approximately 15 minutes of Saturday Night Fever. that was all i could take before i could feel the bile rising in my throat.

for those of you unwilling or, more likely, unable to sit through this atrocity, the 'story' is something like this: john travolta is a paint-store clerk in brooklyn. he likes dancing. he hangs out with a group of guys and his dance partner is some chick who he likes but who doesn't like him. tony (travolta) hangs out at discos as his escape from his troubling/mundane life.

um, that's about all the plot i know, cos, like i said, i saw fifteen minutes.

i watched that much because i was waiting for the dancing. i really, truly wanted to see the awesome disco dancing i understood was in this movie. i sat through 15 minutes to see one dance scene.

it. was. awful.

see, there was a dance-off competition, and they showed like three couples dancing. one couple was fine. there was a hispanic couple who mostly tore it up -- not the best dancing i've seen but better than i could do (but i'm only half-hispanic). then there was tony and his broad. they danced to some slow-ish song, and i'm no choreographer, but it was L.A.M.E. i cannot even describe the Lameness that was.

i will be more than happy to demonstrate for anyone. just ask when you see me.

so i didn't watch any more. because Saturday Night Fever is now just another disappointment.

damn you, pop culture!

Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future...

... your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures.

Me and My Wardrobe

last night i had this dream -- actually, i had several that i remember, but this was one -- where i was hanging around this cool clothes store, and there was this dress. it was kinda like really soft vinyl or really thin leather, and it was red and black. it was sort of a halter, having no sleeves and held up by the neck, and the red was a stripe down the middle. and i thought, that dress is so cool, i wonder if i'd look good in it. but then i looked at the price tag and it was $308. so i didn't try it on... but i really wanted it, so i kept thinking about it...
i woke up before i could leave the store or try it on. i bet i woulda rocked it.

Giggity!

ok, so i did ok at the gig. :)

in fact, it went really well! the guys in aubriot are good, and it was good to play with them. sound was surprisingly good for Grog & Tankard, as well. and a lot of peeps came out, and showed their love with applause, and there was a photog there, and all-in-all it was pretty exciting, in that calm exiciting kind of way.

i showed up almost on time, and the guys at Grog recognized me. i'm getting to be a regular there with my new bands always needing a place to cut their performance teeth, and the Grog always obliging. the door man (i keep asking his name and forgetting it... reggie? he looks like a reggie.) is fond of telling me how much i rock, even when the band i'm in stinks.

matt was already there when i arrived, so i pulled up and we loaded in the goods. he tells me there's a metal band on before us, but they'll be done by 9ish -- as long as it doesn't mess with our start time i'm fine. then i drove off to find my parking space, approximatelly 6.7 miles away.

so for a while i stood outside smoking (thank god for nice weather in the face of the damn DC smoking ban). i couldn't tell you if they were a good metal band or not, actually, cos i don't really know about these things. i believe their name was Lysergic Cross. the screamer was very angsty and occasionally sang a line or two, which were mostly inaudible against the backdrop of Marshalls, China Crashes and Screaming Guitars.

But No, Seriously! They were Very Loud.

after they cleaned up the excess Lysergy, we set up and did a quick sound check. Then we took a brief break (not even half an American Spirit cig) and went on.

now on to my critique of my performance. as usual, everyone else's performance was good :)

while my guitaring leaves a little to be desired (more on that later), my voice was actually in good shape. it only did a funny little break, once, and that was early in the set, so hopefully everyone forgot it by the time we were done. also, i had to ad lib some lines because the songs are new, and i had literally just written some lyrics that week. but i pulled off some stuff (i think) that i hadn't managed in practice, so i was pretty psyched.

since i don't ever play guitar with a capo, i promptly forgot to capo for the first song, and matt had to remind me. mostly my guitaring was ok, if a little stilted, and i didn't hit many off chords. the vox came through -- i was really worried about being heard because it's such a little amp but i cranked it and immediately turned it down. it really does go up to eleven.

i forgot to capo for the last song, too, so my first chord sounded like this: "WRANNNGGGGGAAAAAAASS!!!!!" pretty awesome. two hits and i realized it was all wrong, so i just turned the volume down on my guitar to try and look like i was still playing but not completely ass up the joint. i think i pulled it off, managing to appear only mildly constipated as i continued singing. i figured out what happened after a few bars, but was unable to compute a save whilst still singing... so i left it on 'mute.'

i also got to tell a joke, my favorite joke. you know the one.

maybe i'll get some pictures of the gig soon.

Gig Jitters

i wish the jitters were as fun to have as they are to say...
aubriot has a gig, our first gig, tonight, and i'm getting nervous, of course. it's not that i don't think i can sing and/or play guitar. it's just... i get nervous, and i forget things, and then i get more nervous about forgetting things...

everyone says i'll be fine, and i probably will. i admit it is getting easier -- or at least i'm getting tired of getting nervous. it's certainly easier for me to get on stage in a play, as a character. but as me, it's harder. and there are three good musicians up there with me, and i don't want to be the weak link.

i really am afraid to fail.

I Hope This Works

i've been doing some work for a local magician and all-around nice guy, Brian Curry. which is pretty keen, cos it's fun to do freelance work for someone you like and who is easy-going.

first i did a logo for his 'company,' Magic & Mischief. then i did some flyers and a couple postcards. it was neat when he got a call the very next day after mailing a postcard i designed for his new school show. i mean, sure, it was prolly the show and not the postcard that got the call, but at least they read it!

i mentioned that my paper was running a special section, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planner, since he does B'nai Mitzvah work. he decided to run an ad, and i put him in touch with one of our sales reps. i really thought at first (not knowing the ad prices) that the ads would be more than his promotional budget would allow, but the next thing i knew, he was in for a quarter page ad (pretty big) and full colour.

and then i designed it for him.

either of these two circumstances, by themselves, would be fine. but the fact that i kind of 'sold' him the ad and i designed it is making me nervous. so i really really really really really really really hope he at least gets some calls, if not a booking. because otherwise i'll feel L.A.M.E.

so if you know anyone planning a bar or bat mitzvah, hook me up, aight?

I'm Gonna Pay for This.

so it has been decided Sylvia needs a collar, due to her penchant for running out the door. she really really really likes to roll around on the concrete (ah, the inscrutable ways of the feline) and will often just dart outside when you open the door.
so i went to target yesterday, and got her two presents. one was a laser pointer, cos the batteries had died in her old one. the other was a collar. but not just any collar. it's shiny purple, with rhinestones... and a bell.

at first she got annoyed, then it didn't look like she knew she had it on, or cared. but i think she does. she's behaving a little differently. the bell startles her when she moves. she's all wound up, tweaked out. and she looks ridiculous. she might be embarrassed.

so i decided to take pictures:






Look at that cute little bell!




































and those magical, stylish rhinestones!

Mmmm, Waxy!

Shelly, the nice older Taiwanese lady, waxed me up something good. i think i expect too much from waxing, though, as i'm always disappointed with the results. but Shelly was good, so maybe i'll keep trying.
the real reason i like Shelly, tho, is that she asked about my eyebrows, and when i said, no, i don't get them waxed, i think she said, no, they look good, you don't need to wax them. a vast improvement from the usual line i get from manicurists --
them: "you need wax eyebrows?"
me: "no, thanks."
them: "sure?"
me: "no, really."

later,
them: "you want eyebrow wax?"
me: "no, thanks."

i always feel they're hinting. but i like my eyebrows. i think i do a decent job on them. i don't want them waxed. i try to console myself with the thought that they are just upselling. but, as a blossoming girly-girl, i can't help but feel a little self-conscious.

so Shelly is for me, for all my grooming needs, from now on. plus, she's right next door to where i work.

Best Thing i saw today

a little bird, with a bit of grey fluff in his mouth. maybe he was off to build a nest with it. maybe he was going to knit a little birdy beanie cap. either way, he was cute.

braaaaaaaaaiiinnnnssss! or, blooooood! whatever you got.

so i had the wick-ed-est dream the other night -- i drempt me and frank were out bustin' up some zombies! considering i usually have lame-ass dreams about things like standing in line for ice cream, this one certainly tops the charts on My Awesome Dreams List.

it plays like this. we open on a scene, frank and me in a car. i'm in the passenger seat. there's a corpse in the back, some guy looking all horror-film blue, hanging forward with mouth agape. i say something like, "Are you sure he's really dead?" Of course at that moment dead dude starts moaaaaning. frank turns to punch him, but he's driving, so i say i'll do it. i hit Mr. Corpse a few times, but apparently even in dreams my punching power is nil, so i only succeed in keeping him slightly stunned. but he starts to get a little friskier, and soon he's trying to bite my fingers and frank's shoulder. lucky for us he's a Zombie Of Poor Jaw Strength and manages to not break skin... but who knows how long he will remain weakened! frank turns (while still driving) and knocks him out before he can zombify one or both of us.

suddenly we're in a kind of barn house thing... i want to call it a road house, because it's all rough like a barn but outfitted for people habitation. also, there's a giant pool table. at the pool table are a couple country yokel-types, and it seems frank and i know them, at least marginally. and they're all telling us they're not zombies, and what zombies? we didn't see no zombies! except we know they're lying, and sure enough, out of the GIANT double doors at the end of the room drifts Mr. King Of The Zombies. except he's a zombie vampire. or something.

at this point the zombies have all become zombie vampires or vampire zombies.

Mr. Zompire (or Vambie, if you prefer) is suave, debonair, and not attacking. No, he's too cool for that. and also, he has two dogs, a wheaton terrier and a giant affenpinscher (ears cropped). We talk to him for a little while, then make our exit, hoping he won't pursue.

After a brief trip through what looks like Tara post-war (i shall nevah go hungreh again!), we end up in a deserted house. it has some resident zompires but we kick their butts with what i think is powdered lye or a similar grainy corrosive. there are also other non-zombie/vampire people in the house, and we join forces with them, organizing our resistance, with the house as our headquarters.

and that's where the dream ends... very cinematic, i think...

the shouting box of cate meyers is the sky!

http://lastfm.excite.co.jp/music/Cate+Meyers

use the google translation tool to read the engrish version!

Word. Up.

i cannot be fagged to deal with myspace blogging. for reals. because a) my best girly friend cannot read it at work and b) all other peoples on earth CAN read it.
not that blogger is private, it's just harder to find unless, say, i tell you about it.
so feel special, i guess :)

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i just wasted half my work day doing blogger stuff and reading other blogs and stuff, so i don't have time right now to actually blog about what i want to blog about, which is totally the dream that i totally had that totally for reals was about fightin' zombies. it. was. awesome.

oh yeah, and i'm thinking i'll start my own business. could be fun. could be a waste of resources. time will tell.